YOU AREN’T THE ONLY ONE!

Have you ever found yourself in a place and time in your life where you sat with your head in your hands wishing you could disappear?  Your mind replayed recent actions and you knew that you had really “Blown It.”  You are not the only one.  Man, have I “Blown It” in my life a few times.  I will spare you the details, although I’m sure some might have some entertainment value.  Let me just say that I have blown it…

• As a husband
• As a parent
• As a pastor
• As a worker
• As a Christian
• As a man

…and all of those and more have multiple times of “blowing it” in one way or another.  I have sat with my head in my hands, weighed down by the shame and failure, a multitude of times.  As I am sure you know as well, it’s not a pleasant place to be.  Sometimes it can feel like a very lonely place.  Well, let me assure you that you are not alone in the “blew it again” department. 

In fact, not only are you not alone, but you have a huge number of fellow “blown it” brothers in the fraternity.  Think about this list of ancient men who blew it, and some repeatedly:

• Adam – he has the dubious distinction of being the first man to “blow it.”
• The Whole Population of the World in the days of Noah
• The Whole Population of Babel – pride is often the first step to “blowing it” for me too.
• Abraham – even he made mistakes that were pretty significant
• Moses – this “Deliverer” disobeyed God and wasn’t able to enter the promised land
• David – major bad choices, yet still referred to as a “man after God’s own heart.”
• Solomon – the apple didn’t fall far from the Davidic tree
• The disciple Peter – one of my heroes, yet he was known well for “blowing it.”

Overcome

So, chances are you have blown it.  I can readily admit that I’ve blown it.  People all around us have, are, and will be blowing it in life.  So, what do we do once we have blown it?  That’s what really makes the difference.

Step One is Pretty Simple – Admit You Blew It

One of the things that frustrates my wife is when I blow it, but I refuse to admit I blew it.  This is especially evident when it comes to things like traveling and directions.  If I miss a turn I will often drive further than I need to hoping to get out from under a blunder before surrendering and turning around.  Pride and stubbornness can become a real problem when it comes to admitting you blew it, but there can’t be any restoration until this first step is taken. 

Be Willing to Make a Change – Get Back on Track

First you have to admit that you blew it.  Then, especially if you are in the process still of blowing it then stop and change what you are doing.  How silly it would be if a painter put his brush to a wall and realized that he didn’t have the color the customer requested, but decided to go ahead and use it anyway on the whole house.  We have to make changes, and sometimes those are difficult changes.  Making a U-Turn when I missed my turn is only difficult because it’s a blow to my pride.  Making changes in our relationships or lifestyles can be far more difficult.  Changing how we are doing things may mean changing in significant ways.  Be willing to make those changes.

Be Understanding when Others Blow It – Be Helpful not Hurtful

All around us are people just like us.  Flesh, muscle, intellect, and failures just like us.  We make a serious mistake when we try to hold people to some unreachable standard and judge them when they blow it.  We have to be willing to put our arms around those who have blown it and accept and receive them and help them when they need it.  I have blown it in a lot of ways, and one of the things that has been a real help for me has been the people who have been able to look past my failure to my heart and hurts. 

Years ago I blew it in a big way.  I had embarrassed myself by “jumping the gun” with something.  I had written an article and submitted it to the local paper about a position I had received.  It was published in thousands of papers.  Problem was that I was premature and didn’t actually have the position.  I felt like a clod, and the feeling of failure was incredibly strong.  The leader of the organization, who I had put in a really awkward position, could have very easily and understandably cast me aside and had nothing more to do with me.  However, and why this experience is so vividly still etched in my mind and life-experience, he instead accepted me and loved me.  To this day I remember the conversation and the amazement I felt at his forgiveness.  To this day this leader is one of my best friends, a real mentor and teacher from afar.  He had demonstrated this concept for me in life.

Making a Career out of Blowing It – It’s Living Life

I wish that I could say that I have some miracle key to NEVER BLOWING IT AGAIN.  Unfortunately, as long as we are alive we will find new and not so new ways to blow it.  It’s part of daily living, so this process needs to become part of daily life for us as well.\

• When you Blow It — Admit It
• When you are Off Course – Change Direction
• When Others Blow It – Be Accepting and Understanding

People all around us are thirsty.  I don’t mean just dry mouthed or parched, I mean a consuming thirst that is so intense that they are driven to find something to satisfy it.  They are searching and trying everything they can, but most are discovering that what they thought my bring satisfaction has merely brought more thirst. 

People have turned to alcohol thinking that by drinking enough they would be able to quench that inner thirst.  It leaves them numb for a moment, but in the end it shatters their lives and they live with that thirst still present beneath the mental fog of a hangover.

People have turned to drugs to try to take the edge of that longing.  They try a variety of substances and discover that now not only are they thirsty still in their souls, but the talons of addiction have also embedded themselves in their lives and they are shackled by the constant need for more of something that cannot satisfy their need.

People have turned to relationships and sex to try to cover up the lonely longing they experience.  Young girls give away the precious treasure of their purity because some young handsome guy has promised to be all she needs, but in the end—even the most sincere of young men—those promises fall short and leave behind broken hearts and still thirsty souls. 

People have turned to religion to try to satisfy the spiritual and supernatural yearning thinking that the thirst can be subdued through ritual.  The pews of the average church are filled still today with the soul-thirsty and spiritually dead who have memorized all the rules and regulations but find that the longing within them goes untouched.  Still more have left the doors of the religious establishments of every creed because what they found there only increased their craving.

To the soul-thirsty of our community and world the words of Jesus’ invitation bring a promise that no man can fulfill.  on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “IF ANY MAN IS THIRSTY, let him come to Me and drink. ³⁸ “He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water.'” (John 7.37-38)

This is not some canned promise that says that everything in life will be alright once you do this.  This isn’t a simple formula for success or fulfillment or a promise that your best day is now.  It is the assurance that even in difficult and trying times there will be a sufficient strength found in the fountain of Christ’s indwelling presence through the Living Water of the Holy Spirit which will flow in the life and soul of every believer. 

Ask any recovering addict and they will tell you that the road out of addiction is hard, and being a Christian doesn’t automatically make it easier.  Ask any of the myriad of single moms and they will tell you that the mistake of giving away their virginity in their youth doesn’t just vanish when they started following Christ.  Inquire of some of the religious faithful who left the trappings of a religious life to find the living relationship with Christ and they will inform you that their lives didn’t suddenly become a “bowl of cherries.”  

But for all of these people—and for me as well—there is the undeniable truth that something is significantly different.  The soul-thirst is satisfied as I drink from the well of living water.  Like with my morning coffee, it won’t just enter into me because I tell it to.  We have to go to the well.  Will you come?   Will you make your way to the well of Christ, bring your cup and drink, and receive the living water into your life so that you too will never thirst again.

If you have been to the well then it is time to bring someone else, cup in hand, to discover that Living Water themselves.  In a blink they can go from darkness into light.  Share the living water with someone around you today.

Look for the Well!

Recently I had a brief discussion with a young lady about religion.  Her experiences had exclusively been in one particular type of church, and unfortunately had left her with a sense of bitterness and disconnection concerning religion and the things of God.  It was obvious she had some significant questions, but time did not allow us to delve very deeply into them.  I’m praying for another opportunity soon to share my heart with her. 

I think we need to make sure that our religion matters.  That’s what I gathered from her frustration over her experience.  It had been important to a lot of people in her family, but she didn’t see that it mattered to her personally.  Our religious experience should be significant and should leave us changed.  If we are connected with the God of the universe then how can that not matter.

For it to matter it should touch every aspect of our lives.  People around us should see that it makes a difference to us.  When I have opportunity to connect with her again I’m going to encourage her to look for people who she can tell their connection with God has made a real difference.  In the mean time I’m going to pray that she will be able to see the difference my relationship with Christ has made in my life. 

Would she see that if she were observing your life?

Here’s Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “The Change.”  Enjoy, and let it challenge you.

Where’s the Beef?

A while back I got a magazine from the college I attended with a note about the president’s address earlier this fall that was done in a series of three chapel talks based on the old Wendy’s “Where’s the Beef?” commercials. If you remember those ad, Clara Peller would repeatedly ask “where’s the beef” when she lifted the fluffy bun top off the burgers of various fast food companies. The problem was that they might look real good with those nice fluffy buns, but the real substance was lacking.

In the series of messages there was a challenge to be more than just “fluffy bun believers” but to really be “beefy believers.” In other words, bring substance into our lives.

Here are the three areas of substance that we need to focus in on.

1. Beef-Up in the area of Love

The people around us expect that we are going to be different. We are commanded time and time again in scripture to be people of love, even to the extent that we would express love to our enemies. However, sometimes it is hard to see whether or not we even love our own family let alone those who are against us. We need to “beef-up” our love for…

· One Another

· The Lost

· The Hurting

· Our Enemies

As one of those old “camp-fire” songs I used to sing so often says, “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

2. Beef-Up in the Area of Service

The meat of our lives is expressed in our service. How we respond to the needs around us will show the substance of who we are. Jesus did what needed to be done, even when it was hard, unpopular, and unappreciated. We need to stop whining…stop making excuses…and get engaged in serving. There are so many needs, we don’t have time to sit back and complain. Let the world see the servant in you…Jesus as He touches lives through you.

3. Beef-Up in the Area of Worship

Worship unashamed. This is more than just showing up to church on Sunday. It’s letting worship, praise, and appreciation flow in your life. It’s learning to give thanks—even in difficult circumstances. See, “fluffy-bun-believers” are all there for the music, preaching, and good feeling Sunday service…but real “beefed-up believers” learn to live a life where worship is real substance. They can say, with Job who had lost so much, “I know that my Redeemer lives!” They can shout “Praise the Lord!” as the hordes converge on them. They can whisper a prayer of thanks for the broken road they are on. They can sing “Blessed be your name” on roads marked with suffering and in the dessert place.

So there are three key ares – Love, Service, Worship—where we as believers could use some real substance…the beef of our lives. Look beneath the fluffy buns of our life…do you see beef, or are you wondering with those around you, where’s the beef.

What do you do if you find that you are more Fluff than Beef?

First, confess that, because it is not God’s will for you. Agree with God that you are not where you know He wants you to be in these areas. Step one in any road to recovery is to admit there is a problem.

Second, commit to turning from where you are to where He wants you to be. This is accomplished by seeking Him in Bible reading/study, prayer, worship, and service. Yes, as you do the things He’s asking you to do you will be continually getting closer to Him.

Third, recognize where you are so that when you begin to slip from time to time—and you will—you will be more aware of it and able to respond by getting back on track.

People around us are wondering, “Where’s the Beef?” They are looking—and longing—for the substance of what and who we are as followers of Jesus Christ. They are expecting us to be different and to offer them a better way then what the rest of the world offers. We can, but it means we need to “Beef-Up” as believers. So, let’s bulk up on what matters and let the substance be visible beyond the fluff.

(Dr. Thomas Kinchen is president of The Baptist College of Florida)

A Thirst for Living Water

All people at all times have a thirst for spiritual things. We might be unaware of this “soul-thirst” because we attempt to flood our lives with alternatives to the Living Water. But on the inside, there is still an undeniable longing and emptiness that only Jesus Christ can fill. Here are three thirsts that are common to all men, and find their answer and satisfaction only in the well of Living Water.

Thirst for God

“As the Deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God” (Psalms 42:1-2).

All people have a God-shaped vacuum inside of them, an emptiness that only He can fill. How can people fill that void? By coming cup in hand to the well of Living Water found in a relationship with Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.

Thirst for Community

Everyone wants to have a place to belong. It is human nature to form ourselves into clubs, teams, unions, gangs and armies. Like families, some of these can be beneficial, some can be dysfunctional. The word “church” means a called out assembly. It is not just being with other people, but it is a community that functions with a unique identity on a foundation of common faith.  The church is made up of far more than bricks, mortar, nails and studs…it is the living and functioning body of the Lord Jesus Christ in the world.

Thirst for Purpose

“What on earth am I here for? What is my unique contribution that I am called to make in the world?” I believe that when people are being filled with God, and are participating in a community of others being filled with God, then they best find the opportunity to discover their purpose. In general it is to do everything for the glory of God.  We stop living life as though everything is about me.  We cease the mentality that states, “It’s my world, you’re just living in it.”  We begin to realize and live with the understanding that it is all about Him, the Lord, and it’s all about introducing others to Him.

Want to Know More?

Drop me an email or leave a comment on here and I will share with you how you can find your way to the well and experience satisfaction of your soul-thirst.

Blessings!

Dave “Big D” Bentley

Changing Course

 

Most of you know by now that Vermont experienced significant damage from Hurricane Irene recently. Homes, business, roads and entire communities have been devastated by the sudden surge of normally small streams. As I have traveled in our area of the state recently I was awed, shocked, and saddened by the scenes of destruction. Several times I have had to turn of the television, shut off the computer, stop looking at the images, and just catch my breath.

Talking to people who have suffered loss has been challenging too. So many of the people in the small towns around us, Cavendish, Proctorsville, Weathersfield, Reading, and more seem to almost be living on auto-pilot. Some have a determination and will that seems to be able to rise up in the midst of the ruin, but many others are suffering, often silently amid the loss. A farmer I met below Cuttingsville talked of losing some cows in the rushing torrent and crops that are lost for the harvest. The possessions and property of so many people litter the stream and river beds of these communities now.

Something else I have noticed in my travels are the river rocks that have been scattered and moved in so many places. Fields and lawns that were once lush and green are covered with stones and mud from the riverbed In some places enormous boulders were shoved aside by the strength of the flooding rivers. And of course we know that some of those historic covered bridges, many other bridges, and large sections of road were washed away in the raging waters. The magnitude of might that was demonstrated by the floods was utterly awesome.

Something else struck me as I drove to and from Rutland yesterday. In some places the course of the rivers have changed. Near where I was speaking with the farmer I noticed a dog running through and playing in a section of the river which now flowed through the field near the road and under the back of an older home nearby. In another place I saw the river fork where just days earlier it had been a single flow. Large tractors and land-movers were in some of the rivers and streams near Rutland digging out and realigning the course of the water. The flood has changed things.

Sometimes we find that the course of our life changes, perhaps as unexpectedly as the flood. We all know that things can get rocky at times, and perhaps the “rush of life” can become intense as well, but there may be a time when everything suddenly changes and the flow of your life goes in a different direction. These times of transition and change can be bewildering and confusing. Like so many of the people I have seen in the past few days there is a sense of shock and loss with what’s been left behind after these changes.

I think we have a choice at times like this. We can choose to fight the change, to stand in the raging stream of life and boldly proclaim against the force, I will not be moved. However, that didn’t work well for even the largest of boulders in the flood. The other option we have is to surrender to the flow and let the course be altered. It’s times like this that faith plays such a critical role, because through faith I know I can have the strength to stand and remain in the crush of the rush if that is God’s will, and I can have the serenity of accepting the changes if God so desires.

So, through the streams and rivers of life, and the bends and curves in our journey, the critical of element will enable us to experience peace even in the tempest, and strength even in times of trial.

Dave “Big D” Bentley

Special thanks to the multitudes of volunteers, rescue workers, National Guard troops, and myriads of others who are doing whatever they can to assist in the clean-up, recovery, and restoration.  We appreciate all that you are doing and are so grateful for you.

The following is a message I wrote several years back as part of a class in Genesis.  It is a look at the Biblical pattern and design for marriage as God intended.  In our day and age of disposable relationships, throw-away marriages, and do what you want when you want behaviors,  we desperately need to be reminded of how this wonderful gift began and what it was meant to be.  Over the next few posts we’ll look at reminders that Marriage is Divine by Design.  -Blessings!

THE DIVINE OPERATION OF MARRIAGE

We have seen how God originated marriage in His own mind, and how He ordained it by bringing woman to man, and we have looked at the divine order of marriage seen in verse 24. In these closing moments I want us to consider why God created marriage. To do that I want us to look at a passage in Malachi.

“But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth.”

Did you hear what God was looking for? Godly offspring. It doesn’t take much effort to look at the world today and see ungodly offspring. As the fabric of the family continues to deteriorate we will see more and more ungodly children growing into ungodly adults and the cycle will continue to repeat itself in an endless cycle, unless we start taking steps to end it now. One way to stop it is by educating people about the operation of marriage. There are two things we must understand concerning marriage in this light:

A. It is the only grounds for sexual purity.

Regardless of age, sex out of the bonds of wedlock is wrong. For a vivid picture of the cost of this terrible situation simply consider that in the area of Texas around the Dallas-Fort Worth area some 40% of all households are single parent families. In addition to the tragic consequences placed on the children of those homes there is also the threat of sexually transmitted disease and sexually deviant behavior that must be considered.

B. It is the only grounds for procreation.

Because sex outside of marriage is in defiance to God’s original plan, therefore marriage is the only grounds for producing and nurturing children. When marriage is permanent, as we’ve already discussed, those children have an opportunity to grow up and become Godly people.

A part of God’s intention when he ordained marriage was that from the union of the man and the woman would come offspring who would serve Him and enjoy fellowship with Him.

The following is a message I wrote several years back as part of a class in Genesis.  It is a look at the Biblical pattern and design for marriage as God intended.  In our day and age of disposable relationships, throw-away marriages, and do what you want when you want behaviors,  we desperately need to be reminded of how this wonderful gift began and what it was meant to be.  Over the next few posts we’ll look at reminders that Marriage is Divine by Design.  -Blessings!

THE DIVINE ORDER OF MARRIAGE

Look again at Genesis 2.24

For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

I’ve often wondered about Moses’ thoughts as he penned this verse from God. I wonder if he thought of his own wife, Zipporah. She had been a gift given by her father Jethro to him. When they were united they had no idea that one day they would be wandering in the wilderness together leading the children of God. It gives the verse a whole new light when I think about it in this way.

Charles Swindoll put together a Bible study guide entitled Strike the Original Match.^[1] I’d like to borrow his outline for this verse.

Marriage calls for Severance.

Popularly referred to as the “Leave and Cleave” principle, couples must be willing to leave behind their families, homes, everything they have become familiar with and comfortable in.

Years before Moses would write these words God called to Abram and asked him to do just that, and in faithful obedience Abram followed God’s calling. (Gen. 12.1-4) Abram was asked to leave behind his family and all that had been familiar to him and to step out in faith to follow God to a place that he could not yet see. This is severence to the Nth degree.

That passage about Abram is particularly important to me in my marriage and in ministry. When Andie and I were married we had no idea that one day the Lord would ask us to leave Vermont, her home for all her life. We could not have begun to dream that we would move from Vermont to the capitol district of New York, to urban West Virginia, to one day find ourselves in the rural Southeast Alabama town of Clio.

Severance. Note, this is not alienation from our parents. On the contrary, they have a great deal of wisdom of which we would be smart to avail ourselves. Swindoll writes concerning the child’s severance from parents, “So listen to their advice. Then make your own decisions–and be responsible for them.” And concerning the parent’s, “Severing means training a child so that he or she can become independent in a healthy, natural, flowing fashion.”^[2]

Leaving also means that we don’t compare our spouse with out mother or father. It means that we must develop our own way of dealing with things together that reflect the uniqueness of our marriage.

Marriage calls for Permanence.

The second half of the “Leave and Cleave” command is a command of permanence. Cleave means to cling to, to glue yourself to, to keep close and remain constant. Thus, marriage is intended to be a permanent relationship. A secured and unbreakable bond.

I saw an advertisement recently in the Dothan Eagle that caused me to feel nauseous. It said, “Quick, Easy Divorces, $250.00 and up.” How disappointing. Unfortunately that lawyer will probably generate a lot of business with that ad because that is the growing mind-set among couples today. They enter into marriage with the idea that they can always call it quits if it doesn’t work out to their liking.

In Newsweek February 19, 1996 there is an article entitled “Tightening the Knot.” It’s primary focus is the efforts being made to eliminate no fault divorce, a law which has been in effect in most states since the 1970s. [It’s interesting to note that since the introduction of “No Fault” laws the rate of divorce has almost tripled from .4 million in 1960 to 1.2 million in 1994.] In essence what the law says is that a spouse may divorce another spouse without needing to show proof that the spouse has done anything deserving divorce. In the 1950s there was a song, “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”, but today the chorus would be different as breaking up is entirely too easy to do. This week in Michigan a divorce reform bill will be introduced which will require people seeking divorce to: (1) Prove fault, such as adultery or abuse; (2) Participate in family therapy; (3) Plan ahead concerning their children’s care and financial future. In addition there will be a part aimed at engaged couples that would make prenuptial counseling beneficial by providing cheaper marriage licenses to those couples who participate in it.

If only we could reach out to couples where they are right now and tell them that God has a plan for their marriage, and that part of that plan is that they commit themselves to stay together permanently, O what a difference it would make in the situation of our nation right now. Permanence, that’s one of the things that marriage calls for from it’s participants.

Marriage Calls for Acceptance.

Let’s clear the air right now about a couple of things. I’m not perfect, and neither are you. When my wife and I became one flesh in a spiritual sense (not sexual) an amazing thing happened, we discovered that there were rough spots on each other that needed to be worked out. I found out she wasn’t perfect, and she discovered that her “Knight in Shining Armor”–she really used to call me that…..before we were married–had a few spots of rust in his suit.

The mistake that many couples make is determining to change the other person to conform them into the image that you perceive they must fit. When we do that we essentially are telling God that He didn’t do a good enough job and we had better take over from there! You say, “That’s not what I’m trying to do at all.”, alright, then tell me: Who created your spouse? Who gave him/her to you? Does God make mistakes? We would do well to remember the words to a children’s song I learned and apply them to our mates:

He’s still working on me to make me what I ought to be…

Each of us is a work in progress in the hands of God, and we must remember that when we consider all the “rusty spots” on our spouse we too have rusty spots.

Acceptance means accepting your spouse as the gift God gave you and saying, “You do not have to perform to earn my love or support. I promise to give myself to you as an encouragement and to be honest with you.” It means that your spouse is valuable to you just as he/she is. Where there is acceptance you will find an excitement and a freedom to try new things because there will not be the fear of being shot down for mentioning it or ridiculed when it doesn’t work. And it is this type of acceptance and unconditional love that allows a couple to become one flesh intimately.

---

^[1] Strike The Original Match, Charles R. Swindoll Insight For Living, WORD Publishing

^[2] Strike The Original Match, Charles R. Swindoll Insight For Living, WORD Publishing

The following is a message I wrote several years back as part of a class in Genesis.  It is a look at the Biblical pattern and design for marriage as God intended.  In our day and age of disposable relationships, throw-away marriages, and do what you want when you want behaviors,  we desperately need to be reminded of how this wonderful gift began and what it was meant to be.  Over the next few posts we’ll look at reminders that Marriage is Divine by Design.  -Blessings!

THE DIVINE ORDINATION OF MARRIAGE

Not only did the idea of marriage originate in the heart and mind of God, but He also ordained marriage. Look again at our Scripture from Genesis:

And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.  So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.  And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.  And the man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

A. Man’s Desire is Foreseen by God. In the previous verse God realized that it “is not good” for man to spend his life alone, so he determines to create an ‘helpmeet’ to complement and complete man’s lacking. It is important to note that man has not yet realized his incompleteness and need for companionship, but that need is known to God, and He intends to fulfill that need.

B. Man’s Desire is Fostered by God. The first thing God does is to bring out that desire in Adam. He brought before Adam the many creatures He had made and gave Adam the task of naming them. As each beast passed before Adam he must have become aware that for each one of them there was a mate, and yet he had none. God deliberately awakens in Adam a sense of need, an awareness that he hungered for human companionship, and above all else that he needed and wanted a wife.

God is not a cruel God who would awaken a desire that He will not fulfill and satisfy in His own good way. Unfortunately we are an impatient people who “want it our way right now.” That is one reason it is so difficult for a young man or woman to remain pure in today’s sex-inflamed society. Natural, God given, desires and passions are fanned into roaring flames long before their time by the media and other influences. O, how happy are the man and woman who will let God lead them in that area of their life; who will refuse to “conform to the standards of the world, but will be transformed by the renewing of the spirit.”

C. Man’s Desire is Fulfilled by God. After God has foreseen the need in man and has caused that need to be realized by man he then sets about the task of fulfilling that need according to His plan. He causes man to go to sleep.

It’s interesting to me that God didn’t ask man what he thought an ideal wife would look like, or ask for input concerning her functions. This continues to demonstrate God’s love and concern for us in providing us with the very best. Husbands, consider your wives for a moment. Isn’t she the most perfect wife for you, completing who you are as a piece in a jigsaw puzzle? Wives, consider your husbands for a moment. Isn’t the same thing true about him. Sure we all have flaws. We all make mistakes, but isn’t it wonderful that even as God created exactly what Adam needed to complement him he continues to do that same miracle today. Take a moment right now and tell your spouse that he/she is the most perfect complement to your life, and look them in the eye when you do.

Matthew Henry emphasizes that God created woman from man’s side. Not from his foot, lest he should trample on her, nor from his head, lest she should rule over him, but from his side to be equal with him, close to his heart to be loved by him, and under his arm to be protected by him.^[1]

Now, look with me at the end of verse twenty two. “…an brought her to man.” What a vision! God has fashioned from man’s side an exact complement and then He brings her to him as a very special gift, a priceless treasure, a rare jewel, for man to love and to cherish. Next to His gift of Jesus Christ, my wife is the greatest gift that God has given to me.

D. Man Experiences ‘Love at First Sight.’ God has seen the desire for a companion that man would have. He has caused that desire to bloom and grow in man’s heart. He then provided a special gift to fulfill that desire. Then we have here the first recorded words of Adam as he beholds his lovely bride and he exclaims “THIS IS IT!!! THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!” and he breaks into a love song as the joy and exuberance spill out of him like water from an overflowing cup.

I remember when I first met my wife. She was fiery to say the least. In fact, in the very first words we exchanged she was yelling at me and telling me I had made a mistake. I should have learned from that moment, and I might have if I hadn’t first seen her eyes. Something–which I still can’t explain– touched me very deep inside and I was hooked, just like that.

I’m sure that must have been about what Adam felt that day God brought woman to him. This was his perfect mate, like my wife is my perfect mate, and your wife is yours. Husbands, turn to your wives and tell her now that she is a perfect mate for you, and you are grateful that God has brought her to you. Wives, you do the same. God is so good to us!

The entire concept of marriage originated in the mind of God, and He ordained it by bringing to the very first man the very first woman as a gift of love which indicated not only God’s approval but also His blessing upon this union. Man’s joy caused him to break out into a love song to God and his bride.

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^[1] Matthew Henry’s Commentary in One Volume p. 7

The following is a message I wrote several years back as part of a class in Genesis.  It is a look at the Biblical pattern and design for marriage as God intended.  In our day and age of disposable relationships, throw-away marriages, and do what you want when you want behaviors,  we desperately need to be reminded of how this wonderful gift began and what it was meant to be.  Over the next few posts we’ll look at reminders that Marriage is Divine by Design.  -Blessings!

The Divine Origination of Marriage

Genesis 2:18-25 (NASB77)
¹⁸ Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
¹⁹ And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.
²⁰ And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.
²¹ So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.
²² And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
²³ And the man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”
²⁴ For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
²⁵ And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

One of the first things we see is that marriage originated in the mind of God.

18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

John Phillips^[1] writes that God anticipated man’s need for companionship before man even realized his emptiness and incompleteness. Before Eve would be held in Adam’s arms God had already held her in His mind. We see that the first time God declares that something is “not good” is when he looks and sees the incompleteness of man. Because God knows what is best for us we should be willing to submit ourselves to His divine plan. Marriage originated with God. He knows the needs of the heart for everyone of His children, and He plans to meet those needs.

While marriage indeed originated with God, the reality is that we live in a fallen society. C.S. Lewis in the book The Screwtape Letters^[2] used some potent and alarming words as Screwtape, a senior devil in Satan’s forces, writes to Wormwood, an apprentice devil. Wormwood’s patient, the particular human being he was supposed to be conducting safely to hell, had become a Christian. Since the overall war had been won Screwtape sought to make the best of a “deplorable situation”. He advised that Wormwood lead the Christian to a “desirable marriage.” He admitted that marriage had originated with God, but that marriage has it’s uses even for the cause of Satan. The thought being that a poor marriage would render the Christian useless and miserable. With this thought in mind we must understand that one of the reasons our divorce rate is so high, and broken marriages so numerous is that Satan seeks to attack and destroy those things that God created to make man happy, so that man may be made ineffective and kept miserable. Being aware of that truth will begin us on the way to strengthening our own marriages as well as those around us.

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^[1] Exploring Genesis p. 52

^[2] The Screwtape Letters, Lewis, C. S. Macmillan, 1982