Half of marriages fail.  I believe this is due to misunderstandings when it comes to what love is.  This webisode of Marriage 911 introduces the subject of real love.  This is part one of several.

4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails;

                      (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a New American Standard Bible 1977)

Video of Dave Bentley presenting Marriage 911–Real Love Part 1

Marriage 9-1-1

Someone needs to call 9-1-1 because there are marriages that need some serious help. Perhaps you are in one of those marriages, or you know someone who is. This might not be for you specifically right now, but it might be useful later, or you can pass it along to someone who might benefit from it.

Where’s the Kindness?

It’s astounding the number of couples I’ve encountered recently who just don’t treat each other very kindly. (At times that includes the man I see in the mirror.)

The wisdom of the Bible offers some guidance in our relationships with others that we would be wise to apply:

And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Eph 4:32 (HCSB)

· Be Kind in Words and Actions

· Be Kind by being moved and responding

· Be Kind by forgiving

Take this Home With You Before You Start a Fight:

A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath. Prov 15:1 (HCSB)

The following is from a discussion board post I was assigned this week in my class, Foundations of Exceptionalities at Liberty University. 

The Difference Between a Christian and Secular Approach toward Students with Exceptionalities

In reading and pondering this topic it becomes clear that the only real difference between the secular approach to special education and the Christian approach is the source of the mandate requiring action.  The secular (public) school systems are driven by federal laws, such as the Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA), which mandates Free and Appropriate Education (FAPE) for all students (Weintraub, 2005).  These laws and regulations, the oldest of which are just reaching the half century mark, have continued to evolve and develop over the course of years, adjusting to fiscal constraints and rising demand for services.  Public school districts must follow these mandates and laws or face punitive measures.

The mandate for the Christian, and the Christian school, is different, but no less demanding.  In fact, as believers, we are commanded to uphold the laws that govern our communities in addition to following the mandates of the Lord Jesus.  As a result, we ought not to see this as an opportunity to lessen our responsibility, but rather a challenge to be a model that raises what we offer to a position of excellence.  The mandate we must follow is found in both the words, and the actions of our primary example, Jesus Christ.  In the Scriptures we find the purpose for which He came and we remain.

•Jesus’ Purpose Declared by the Prophet:

o The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to Him, and unrolling the scroll, He found the place where it was written:18 The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because He has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim freedom to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free the oppressed,19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor (Luke 4:17-19 Holman Christian Standard Bible). 

•Our Purpose Defined by the Savior:

o And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28.18-20 New American Standard Bible 1977).“

Jesus, as He lived out His example before the eyes of His followers, never shied away from the challenge that people with special needs brought to Him.  Blind, deaf, crippled, diseased, they all found in Christ a refuge and a hope.  As His followers, our mandate is to offer those same things to the people with special needs today.

Weintraub, F. (2005). The evolution of ld policy and future challenges. Learning Disability

     Quarterly, 28(2), 97-99

The following was submitted as part of my coursework this past Summer.  I thought it might be helpful to teachers preparing to head back into the class room.

A Literature Review: Intentional Educational Practice and Connection between Class and Home

David Bentley

Liberty University

Lynchburg, VA

Abstract

Parental involvement has long been recognized as a marker for scholastic success. If a parent or guardian is able to be a partner with the teacher in the educational experience of a student, then that child has a greater probability of achieving academically. Research has confirmed this causal relationship; however, teachers and schools have struggled to find effective methods of enlisting parents, and engaging them in the sort of home-based involvement that can lead to meaningful results. In addition, many teacher leave their formal education saturated with content knowledge, but possessing limited skills in connecting with parents and developing effective collaborative relationships with families in the educational process. The question arises; can teachers be effective in intentional educational practice if they fail to build bridges with the parents of our students? In addition, are there effective ways of developing meaningful communication and collaborative relationships between the classroom and the home? This literature review explores related journal articles, qualitative and quantitative research, and class textbooks in search of answers to these questions, as well as methods that can be employed effectively in the classroom.

Keywords: Teacher Parent Interaction, Involvement, Home Visits, Intentional Strategies, Communication, Newsletters,

Intentional Educational Practice and Connection between Class and Home

How many times have parents experienced this scene: A student arrives home and announces that the following day there is a class project that needs to be completed that night? If those parents are fortunate enough to have the supplies on hand, the next several hours are spent putting together a scale model of a volcano…a steam locomotive…a model of the solar system. Most times, however, parents are sent scrambling to the department store in hopes of locating the needed supplies, seizing them before other desperate parents who are under the same deadline. The teacher sent a note home explaining the project in plenty of time, but it remains hidden in the bottom of the child’s backpack, unfound until the family camping trip in mid-July.

Teachers have more communication tools at their disposal than at any other time in history. The world today is saturated with modes of communication. In moments, an educator can utilize a variety of mediums to get a message across such as, electronic communication, vocal communication, written communication, video communication, and face-to-face communication. The universal problem is that educators have all of these means of getting the message across, but often those messages are not communicated in a bidirectional way between the class and the home. The result is that the rich resource of parental involvement is often nonexistent in the classroom, and parents experience a growing disconnect from the school environment.

This communication disconnect is happening in spite of the current moves in educational reform which include and emphasis on family participation as part of a strategy for school improvement. In fact, federal and professional mandates call for increased family involvement in education (Bartles & Eskow, 2010). The importance of the home-school relationship is understood as it relates to cooperation between teachers and parents (Joshi, Eberly, & Konzal, 2005) in the education of the children. The need for a good relationship and open communication is evident and backed by a multitude of research (Joshi, et al. 2005). It is in the best interest of the students that bridges of communication and collaboration are built between the class and the home.

This literature review examines available articles and research related to, home-school communication and cooperation, difficulties that produce barriers to effective partnerships with families, and methods of overcoming those barriers through training and engaging educators in meaningful collaborative relationships. Quantitative and qualitative research studies, recorded experiences of teachers and parents, and textbooks from the field of education will be referenced. These sources will be synthesized to provide an understanding of intentionality in education, and the significance of the home-school relationship as it relates to the educational practice of intentional teaching.

Defining Intentional Educational Practice

Intentional educational practice is defined by one researcher as, ”educational practice based on knowledge and purpose with the goal of helping students acquire the skills they need in school and beyond.” (Epstein, 2007, p. 1) The syntax of the concept of the intentional teacher identifies this as teaching for a purpose and basing the curriculum on the desired outcomes (Slavin, 2012). A quick perusal of the thesaurus will generate a wide range of synonyms for the word intentional; all could be included to amplify one’s understanding of this term. Words such as; calculated, designed, prearranged, premeditated and willful help further clarify what it means to engage in the practice of intentional teaching. Because intentional educational practice teaches with a purpose and goal in mind, it answers the question “why” for the teaching plan (Epstein, 2007) and serves to keep the teacher on track. In essence, intentional educational practice is setting out on a journey with a destination in mind and the turn-by-turn directions enabling the travelers to arrive at the chosen location.

The Importance of Communication between Class and Home

In a normal school day, there are a multitude of messages being shared and lessons being learned in the classroom. However, ask the average middle school student walking through the front door of the home what they learned in school and the response is, “nothing.” Clearly, this is not the case, but if that exchange is the only interaction the parents have with the educational process it will lead to a major disconnect between their understanding of what takes place in the school, and the reality of the student’s experience. Communication between teachers and families allows parent to be knowledgeable (Schulz & Kantor, 2005) about what the “nothing” really represents in the classroom. The results of a study done by Charlotte Akin (2004) found that even in schools that had good programing, well trained faculty, and parental involvement, focusing on communication enhanced the overall experience of both staff and families.

Effective communication from the class to the home is about more than just what happens in the class. In one study, concerning chronic absenteeism (Sheldon & Epstein, 2004) it was discovered that frequent and positive communication with parents about attendance lead to a reduction in absenteeism. Frequently, however, communication from the class to the home occurs in relation to behavior, poor grades, or attendance (Flanigan, 2007), making positivity in the message difficult.

Communication between the Class and Home Must be Bidirectional

Teaching is primarily about knowledge. The philosophy of most educators would express that the more that is known about a particular subject the better off the student will be. With that thought, the educator would do well to become a student when it comes to the pupils in the classroom and the families represented there. As one educational research project related, in order truly be intentional a teacher should not only understand where students are developmentally, but also have a grasp of the background of the students. Understanding how the students’ socio-economic experiences impact learning (Mogharreban, McIntyre, & Raisor, 2009) will enable to teacher to teach with the whole child in view and accommodate for individual differences in the students. As one research subject stated, “Just knowing children’s development helps you to realize that not everybody’s on the same page. Everybody needs accommodation.” (Mogharreban, et al. 2009 p. 237)

Joshi, Eberly, and Konzal (2005) state that since “it is acknowledged that both parents and teachers are responsible for educating our children, it would seem that it would be in the child’s best interest for us all to be working toward the same goals (p. 1).” The only way to get both parents and teachers working on the same goals is through mutual communication. In developing intentionality in educational practice, it is important to develop and build on a complete knowledge of the students (Mogharreban, McIntyre, & Raisor, 2009) which would include the family background. As one research participant shared, “I know some of these kids’ stories, and they have other issues going on at home. I’m not going to be the mean old teacher who says, ‘you didn’t get your homework done,’ when I don’t know what they heard last night or if they got much sleep…(Mogharreban et al. 2009, p. 237)”

Barriers to Two-Way Communication

Researchers tell us that two-way communication is essential for building mutual trust (Joshi, Eberly, & Knozal, 2005), yet one of the lessons from the research is that what people view as communication is often a unidirectional transfer of information. Parents, who know their child best, have a valuable perspective (Forney, 2009) that can help the teacher who will take time to not only send messages, but receive them as well. This is true of every child, but especially true if the child happens to have special needs or disabilities (Forney, 2009). Such two-way communication on a daily basis is mandated by those special circumstances.

The Problem of Negative Attitudes and Professional Demands

Among the things that result in barriers to effective communication, according to the research results, are; negative attitudes about parents, bias against parents, feelings of inadequacy when dealing with parents, teacher’s historical perspective and experience based on their own childhood (Flanigan, 2007) in addition to time constraints and professional demands. It becomes obvious that these negative feelings coupled with the professional burdens of teaching can effectively derail meaningful communication. Interestingly, among the remedies for those negative feelings towards parents is increased communication and relation with parents. Often, the more a teacher becomes acquainted with parents of students the less powerful those prejudices seem (Eberly, Joshi, & Konzal, 2007). As one article stated, “regardless of educational background, homes of poor families are rich with funds of knowledge which are often unrecognized and untapped by the educational community. When educators recognize the resources or funds of knowledge of all families, communication and trust is improved. (Schulz & Kantor, 2005 p. 63).”

Our Current Methods are Generally Unidirectional Communication

Findings indicate that there is a misunderstanding of the relationship between parental involvement and real communication and relational building. When asked about the most effective means of communication involving parents and teachers, teachers responded that written communication and conferences were most effective. However, do the events that are commonly associated with communication actually result in a meaningful and beneficial interchange? “Are teachers and parents getting to know each other better during these activities (Joshi, et al, 2005 p. 14)?” For example, the common parent-teacher conference has all of the indications of promising communication. There is the potential for a face-to-face exchange of information taking place in a quiet environment over a period of time specifically designated for this purpose. However, most of these meetings dissolve into the teacher transferring copious amounts of information to the parents with little or no opportunity for feedback. If, however, teachers use these meetings to conduct open-ended interviews and allow the parents to tell their relevant stories (Schulz & Kantor, 2005)

Other methods of communication are equally uncommunicative when honestly examined. One research participant listed a number of methods she uses to communicate with parents (Shulz & Kantor, 2005) but when explored giving attention to opportunity for feedback, most of these were found to be unidirectional transfer of information rather than an interchange resulting in communication. If educators are going to be successful in joining intentionality in practice with relevant information about their students (Mogharreban, McIntyre, & Raisor, 2009), then greater attention must be given to developing effective bidirectional communication practices.

Developing Bidirectional Communication Practices

There is nothing inherently wrong with how teachers communicate. What the research indicates is that a focus on bidirectional communication needs to be added to the current list of methods being employed. The practice of sending home notes, utilizing the “Friday folder,” and comments on report cards and other “send home communications” should simply be supplemented with additional open means of communication. There is great promise among some of these other methods of connecting with parents (Schulz & Kantor, 2005).

The intentional teacher will make efforts to reach out to parents with the goal of learning from them (Eberly, Joshi, Konzal, 2007) and in the hopes of enlisting them and engaging them as partners in the educational enterprise (Sheldon & Epstein, 2004). As teachers work to build these bridges with families through open communication studies indicate there will be measurable increase in the trust, respect, expectations, and meaningful exchange of relevant information as it relates to the students (Eberly, Joshi, & Konzal, 2007).

Is Our Message Getting Through?

In every aspect of life, people face challenges when it comes to communication. Marriages have dissolved over an inability to communicate. Businesses have struggled into bankruptcy because they were unable to articulate their message. Politicians have discovered too late that the message they thought they were delivering to the populace was not actually getting across to them. Teacher, with all good intentions, send out notes to the home that, like the experience in the opening vignette, lie undisturbed and undiscovered in the bottom of a student’s backpack. The question must be asked and answered, “Is the message getting through?”

Eberly, Joshi, and Konzal (2007) explain, in their theoretical framework, that Children are raised with an overlapping set of systems with regard to family and schools. These two elements form a microsystem for the life of the student. I am reminded of the game Jenga in which players take turns removing blocks from a tower until one player or the other remove the block that causes the tower to crumble. This overlapping and interconnected system in the child’s life requires that the parents and educators share responsibility to serve as partners to avoid imbalance and disunity in these microsystems. The authors (Eberly, et al 2007) continue, no one knows everything, therefore everyone needs to work together to help children succeed academically. Everyone has value when it comes to this process.

In recent years, there have been additions to schools of education curricula and professional development programs aimed at helping teachers learn skills and practices of engaging parents as partners. Promising results have come from extended membership in professional networks (Sanders, Sheldon, & Epstein, 2005) in developing effective partnership practices. As the study related to chronic absenteeism (Sheldon & Epstein, 2004) illustrates, the benefits of gaining parents as allies in the enterprise of education are too great to take for granted.

The research points to the benefits of developing effective and meaningful communication in the area of intentionality in educational practice. The educators who were participants in the research come from a variety of backgrounds and experiences, but all became more aware of the need for bidirectional connections with the home. The investment of time and energy in the process is great, especially for teachers already burdened with the demands of the educational system. It is understandable that, as in other areas of life, it might be easy to neglect the area of communication to focus time and energy elsewhere.

There are questions and problems that need to be answered. How can a teacher find time to make a home visit to build bridges with parents? Where can an educator squeeze in time to write and respond to parent emails with a pile of papers to grade? What are the most effective proven means of communication between the class and the home?

References

Akin, C. (2004). Messages for Parents and Teachers. Waco, TX. Prufrock Press.

Bartels, S. Eskow, K. (2010). Training school professionals to engage families: A pilot university/state department of education partnership. Lincoln, IL. Academic Development Inst.

Eberly, J. Joshi, A. Knozal, J. (2007). Communicating with families across cultures: and investigation of teacher perceptions and practices. Lincoln, IL. Academic Development Institute.

Epstein, A. (2007) The intentional teacher: Choosing the best strategies for young children’s learning. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children.

Flanigan, C. (2007). Preparing preservice teachers to partner with parents and communities: An analysis of college of education faculty focus groups. Lincoln, IL. Academic Development Inst.

Forney, J. (2009). Partnering: Teachers and parents design a plan for student success. Washington, DC. Odyssey.

Joshi, A., Eberly, J., Konzal, J. (2005). Dialogue across cultures: Teachers’ perception about communication with diverse families. San Francisco, CA. Caddo Gap Press.

Mogharreban, C. McIntyre, C. Raisor, J. (2009). Early childhood preservice teacher’s constructions of becoming an intentional teacher. Denver, CO: National Association of Early Childhood Teacher Educators.

Sanders, M. Sheldon, S, Epstein, J. (2005). Improving schools’ partnership programs in the national network of partnership schools. Fayetteville, AR. National Office for Research on Measurement and Evaluation Systems. University of Arkansas.

Schulz, M. Kantor, R. (2005). Understanding the home-school interface in a culturally diverse family. Worthington. Reading Recovery Council of North America.

Sheldon, S. Epstein, J. (2004). Getting students to school: Using family and community involvement to reduce chronic absenteeism. Lincoln, IL. Academic Development Inst.

Slavin, R. (2012). Educational psychology: Theory and practice. Boston, MA: Pearson

This is a guest post from Dr. Terry Dorsett, director of missions for the state of Vermont.  It is reposted here with his permission.  The pictures and headings have been added to his original post.

We’ve Been Known as the Baptist Boycotters

For many years churches were known for what they were against. This negative position often turned off non-believers. Many people felt being “against” stuff was partly responsible for why some churches were no longer growing. Such churches were accused of being intolerant of others and since intolerance has become the greatest “sin” of our postmodern culture, churches became “bad” in the minds of many people.

People often know what we are against.  What are we For?

In the last ten years, many church leaders have seen the weakness of only being known for what they are against. Many Christian leaders have restyled their message in a positive way. They look for ways to talk about what they are for instead of what they are against. Instead of being “against abortion,” churches are now “for” adoption and helping single moms. Instead of being “against’ alcoholism, they are “for” helping people celebrate recovery. Instead of being “against” same sex marriage, churches are now “for” traditional marriage. Instead of telling their parishioners to boycott a particular company, they tell them to buy chicken sandwiches from a specific fast food chain.

This positive way of expressing a biblical viewpoint is beginning to impact how people “in the middle” think of the church. Many people have not thought through the issues themselves and rely on someone else to tell them what to think. Because most people prefer to be for something, instead of against something, that group in the middle was not attracted to the negative positions that many churches previously offered. Now that many churches have changed the way they talk about the issues, the massive middle finds that it actually agrees with the church on many issues after all. The positions themselves have not changed much, just the way those positions are expressed.

Those Who Espouse Tolerance Have Zero Tolerance for Tolerance

Though the people in the middle may appreciate the church’s more tolerant way of expressing their views, the radical left does not. If anything, it has made those on the far left even more angry and hateful toward Christians. Perhaps those on the far left realize their positions are weak and self-focused. They only way the radical left could promote their weak ideas has been on the back of someone whom they made the “enemy.” Now that the enemy has become the hero, the radical left must become even more vicious in order to draw an ever shrinking number from the middle to their bizarre views.

In a recent exchange with a friend on the far left, I expressed surprise at how bigoted and intolerant his views were about Christians. After all, for years he has told me to be “more tolerant.” But in a clear case in which he was showing bigotry toward Christians simply because they were “for” a cause he did not like, I pressed him on his own lack of tolerance. His response was, “Tolerance is overrated.” Thus revealing his true feelings about tolerance.

The far left has no plans to practice toward others the tolerance they have preached for so many years. Instead, they will increasingly become known as Christo-phobic, anti-Christian, anti-god, hate mongers. I say, let them win the “anti” war. We already know all that will gain them is a loss of the middle and a marginalization of their ideas. To my friends on the left, “hate” away. I am still for all things good and wholesome.

Someone asked me recently, why don’t I post politically charged messages on FaceBook like my other conservative friends frequently do (This was actual not a conservative asking).  My initial response, thinking back to it, was a cop-out, and I’m sorry that I didn’t think before responding with some lame reply that didn’t really give an answer, and probably was more of an excuse than a valid reason. 

The fact is, I have heard the call to get on the bandwagon.  I do feel passionately about things, and, though I’m not a fan of labels, I am generally conservative politically.  The reason I don’t “like” all the postings that slam the president, or “share” as many politically conservative images and slogans as my other friends is because that is not where my priorities are found.  The message that I am most concerned with posting and getting out there is…well, these lyrics from a song I heard several years ago say it as well as I could:  

It’s not conservative or liberal,
However they’re defined;
It’s not about interpretation,
Or the judgment of the mind;
It’s the opposite of politics,
Power or prestige;
It’s about a simple message,
And whether we believe.

Chorus:
It’s still the cross,
It’s still the blood of Calvary;
That cleanses sins,
And sets the captives free.
It’s still the name,
The name of Jesus,
That has power to save the lost;
It’s still the cross.

Here’s a Video of the Song from YouTube if you want to watch it:

See, for me, the most important message I have to share has little to do with politics or who occupies the oval office.  Not that those things are not important, it’s just that they pale in comparison with the significance of the message of the cross of Jesus Christ.  The hope for our communities, for our state, for our country is not found in the alabaster building in our capital cities, but in the message of the love of God for rebellious children, demonstrated in the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross (Romans 5.8).

So, I have family and  friends who are conservative and liberal, and they share those views in a variety of ways on the social media sites.  What I am most concerned with, however, is have they met Jesus Christ, the one whose name has the power to save the lost?  That’s the status update I most wish to see.  That’s why I share the messages I do and let the other ones pass by.  This is what matters most to me.

Blessings!

Recently I had to write a lengthy paper as part of my coursework in the Master’s Degree program I am in.  I completed the paper, proof read it, made several revisions, read it again, revised a little more, and finally I was satisfied with what I had produced.  As part of the courses I am in I have to submit my paper to a tutor who is tasked with helping improve my writing.  This is because I have not been in college in so long that I have gotten sloppy when it comes to the technical aspects of the writing process. 

Well, when I received my reviewed paper I was disheartened to see so many reviewer’s comments concerning what I had estimated to be a good paper.  I wondered how I could have possibly missed so many errors.  Then I realized, it is a matter of perspective.  I was so close to the project and the document that I was prevented from seeing what needed to change in the paper.  Wording that seemed fine to me as the author needed to be adjusted to fit the format of the project.  Formatting that looked correct to me as I read through it, in the eyes of a skilled editor needed to be fine-tuned.  By submitting my paper to the scrutiny of someone with a different perspective things I had missed were able to be identified and revised.

Jesus told His followers, “When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak whatever He hears. He will also declare to you what is to come.” (John 16:13 Holman Christian Standard Bible)  I wonder if this different perspective might be part of the Spirit’s role in our lives.  He offers us the opportunity to submit our lives to His review, because He’s able to see things from not only a different, but a divine perspective, and then enable us to see areas in us that may need a revision.

People can be difficult at times.  No surprise.  Spend enough time around certain people and, as one of my friends once put it, “you will lose your religion.”  We all find times in our lives when we have to deal with people who have different values, methods, beliefs.  Perhaps the words that they use are not words that we would use.  Maybe the way that they do things is not the way that we would do things.  The temptation might be to label that individual a “difficult person” and attempt to distance yourself.

This past week I was faced with dealing with a “difficult people” (I know I should have written person, don’t be difficult)   It doesn’t get any easier just because I am a Christian or because I am a pastor.  We do not become immune to the desire to strangle some people.  What is different, or can be, is the way that I choose to respond or react to a person who is rubbing me the wrong way.  In the past few days I was truly put to the test, and I’m not entirely sure that I scored very high. 

As most of you know, the temperatures were soaring earlier this week.  I am not built for heat and humidity.  Working out in the heat has taken a toll on my physically and emotionally.  I understand why when the mercury rises there is a corresponding rise in domestic dispute police interventions.  Couple the heat index with people who seem to intentionally press the stress buttons and there is the makings for disaster. 

There are many ways to respond/react to situations like that, and most of them would simply aggravate an already raw circumstance.  My response this week was two-fold.  First I prayed, and I prayed hard and sought strength and wisdom from God.  I was at the end of my own resources physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Without God’s strength I was a sitting duck.  (sounds a little like Ephesians 6.10-12)  In addition I prayed for the “difficulty” I was facing.  Honestly, there were times in my prayer that I asked God to intervene in a “biblical” way, thankfully God doesn’t take orders from me.  Mostly, I prayed for myself to have the patience to maintain my composure and to be able to manage the stress the situation was causing.  God answered!

The second thing I did was control my tongue.  We learn so many little slogans in our lives, but some of them are really good ones to remember and employ.  Among those is the slogan, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”  The urge inside me was to lash out.  I wanted to complain and say exactly what I thought of the difficult person.  I could pretty easily justify my reaction and no jury would have convicted me.  However, my reaction would not have honored God in my life, nor would it move the people I am working with any closer to knowing Him.  Over and over again the slogan, “if you can’t say something nice…” played through my mind. 

Finally, after I had walked a short distance from the situation, spent time praying, and remembered those words of wisdom, I was able to return and not be confrontational or complaining, rather cooperative and connected.  The difficult person didn’t act any differently, but I was able to experience peace, indescribable inner peace that passes all understanding, and to continue to do what I needed to do.

Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.  Above all, put on love—the perfect bond of unity.  And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.                                                      [Colossians 3:12-15 (HCSB)]

I would like to say with confidence that I will always respond to difficult people and situations this way.  I can’t, because like everyone else, the flesh is still a powerful force in life.  So, I implore you to pray for me to respond as Christ in the middle of stressful and difficult situations, and to practice what Paul wrote here.  To rest in God’s strength in the realization that my own strength will never be enough. 

Oh, and to continue to remember that “If I can’t say anything nice…” because the world is already full of discouraging and disgruntled speech.  I want to speak encouragement, inspiration, and the message of Messiah wherever I am.

Teach Us To Pray

Think back into your school experience. For some of us that might require thinking WAY BACK. From among your teachers which ones do you remember and who made a real impact on your life? What made their influence in your life so significant?

As I look back I remember a number of teachers, but among those who really impacted my life…now even twenty five plus years removed…is Mrs. Johnson. She taught English when I was in high school. She has long since retired. She impacted my life in part because she didn’t give up. I know that I probably gave her fits at times, but she was understanding, and she knew how to work with teenagers. Now I’m returning to college to get my Masters in Teaching English. I wonder what she would say.

Jesus was a great teacher, the greatest in history. His lessons have changed the course of lives and nations. This is one reason that it’s truly significant that the only recorded request of His disciples asking Him to teach them something is when they requested that He teach them to pray. In response Jesus gave them a model to follow in what we commonly refer to as “The Lord’s Prayer.”

Two Promises Concerning Prayer

God Hears our Prayers!

1 John 5:13-15
¹³ I have written these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.
¹⁴ Now this is the confidence we have before Him: whenever we ask anything according to His will, HE HEARS US.
¹⁵ And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked Him for.

Consider that this means that the Sovereign King of Creation hears us as we pray in accord with His will!

Have you ever spoken to someone and received no response or reply? Perhaps your husband is seated in his recliner and you mention something to him about your plans for the coming weekend, but he simply sits there silently. No reply…no response…nothing. (Note: wives are not immune to this either.) How do you feel when you speak but are not heard? Now, how does it feel to know that God—the King—hears you when you pray?

Do you ever try to make a call on your cell only to find you have no service? Maybe you are in the middle of a call and the signal drops and you lose the call. With prayer there are no dropped calls. God always has service and you always have signal. There is great comfort and strength that comes from knowing we can trust God to hear us.

God Answers prayers

Four Possible Answers

He May Say “Yes.” (Neh 2:1‑6)

Nehemiah 2:1-6
¹ During the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was set before him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had never been sad in his presence,
² so the king said to me, “Why are you sad, when you aren’t sick? This is nothing but sadness of heart.” I was overwhelmed with fear
³ and replied to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should I not be sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”
⁴ Then the king asked me, “What is your request?” So I prayed to the God of heaven
⁵ and answered the king, “If it pleases the king, and if your servant has found favor with you, send me to Judah and to the city where my ancestors are buried, so that I may rebuild it.”
⁶ The king, with the queen seated beside him, asked me, “How long will your journey take, and when will you return?” So I gave him a definite time, and it pleased the king to send me.

Nehemiah prayed, and he made a request—actually two requests—as he approached the king, Artaxerxes, and THE KING, Jehovah. Nehemiah’s requests were met with affirmative replies and he was able to set out and begin repairing the wall around Jerusalem.

He May Say “No.” (2 Cor. 12:7‑10)

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (HCSB)
⁷ especially because of the extraordinary revelations. Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so I would not exalt myself.
⁸ Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from me.
⁹ But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.
¹⁰ So because of Christ, I am pleased in weaknesses, in insults, in catastrophes, in persecutions, and in pressures. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Wouldn’t you think that if God was going to say yes to anyone it would be Paul. Yet Paul’s own experience here tells us that God doesn’t always do what His people want Him to. No one likes to hear “no” from anyone, but loving parents understand that “no” is often a necessary response to the requests of our children. God, who loves us more than any parent ever could loves us enough to tell us no when He needs to. Do we trust God enough to accept that answer?

He May Say “Yes, but not yet, wait.”

If you have ever had the chance to see a huge orchestra play a concert you know that the dozens (perhaps hundreds) of instruments combine together to produce amazing sounds. However, who controls all of that? One person, the conductor. With a wave of his baton and a gesture of his hands, even a glance from his eyes, he coordinates and orchestrates the instrumentalists and together they make the music.

God is our conductor, he’s orchestrating our lives and putting things in order. At times He replies to our requests by telling us to wait on Him. Wouldn’t it be silly for the trumpet section of the orchestra to say to the conductor in the middle of a concert, “We just got this new music, let’s play it right now.” The conductor would wisely tell them to wait until everyone had a chance to practice it and get it ready to perform. God, also must wisely (and remember that God’s answers are wiser than our prayers) tell us to wait.

He May Say “Yes and here’s even more.”

2 Chronicles 1.7-12

⁷ That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”

⁸ Solomon answered God, “You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place.⁹ Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. ¹⁰ Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?”

¹¹ God said to Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, possessions or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, ¹² therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, possessions and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have. ”

Solomon was given a “blank check” by God. He could ask anything, and unlike some of our shallow promises, God could really deliver on the anything. I have often wondered what I would ask for if God offered me the same option. I would like to hope I could be noble, like Solomon, but I don’t know for certain. When Solomon asked God to grant him wisdom God’s answer was “Yes.” But He didn’t just say “Yes.” In addition to that which Solomon asked for, God bestowed on him the things that he didn’t ask for as well. “Yes, and here’s even more.” God can answer and in His answer to our prayers blow away our expectations.

· God Hears

· God Answers

But, are we not having our prayers heard and answered because we aren’t praying? The hearing and answering is promised, but our part is that we are engaged in praying. We need to do more than talk about it…learn about it…think about it…

we have to DO IT.

LORD, TEACH US TO PRAY

Prayer, we talk about it, teach about it, sing about it, think about it… but are we doing it? We say that it is important, but are we doing it? We ask for it from others, but are we doing it? We promise it to friends and family, but are we doing it? Perhaps it’s time for us to return to the basics of prayer for a bit and be reminded about what it is and why we should…no, must engage in prayer.

A while back I asked someone to pray and they quietly told me that they weren’t comfortable doing it because they really didn’t know how to pray. Fact is that we all know how to pray, we just don’t call it praying. We use words like communicating or interacting, even dialoguing, but not prayer.

Fact is, prayer is essentially the same thing we do with each other but our audience is God instead of another person. All the elements of communication are present, but the person is our Lord instead of our friend, spouse, co-worker…etc.

The disciples took notice of something they saw Jesus doing. They saw Him doing it a lot. He prayed. What they saw in Him prompted them to ask Him to teach them how to do what He was doing.

Luke 11:1-4
¹ He was praying in a certain place, and when He finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John also taught his disciples.”
² He said to them, “Whenever you pray, say: Father, Your name be honored as holy. Your kingdom come.
³ Give us each day our daily bread.
⁴ And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone in debt to us. And do not bring us into temptation.”

A Quick Definition: What is Prayer?

• Webster – Words of worship or request
• Communication with God
• Communication is:
• Sharing ideas
• Requires talking & LISTENING

The Request: “Lord, teach us to pray…” (Luke 11:1)

With all that Jesus could have taught His disciples, the only recorded request we have for Him to teach something is to teach them how to pray.

It was common for religious leaders to teach their followers how to pray. Being taught how to pray meant that the followers had a certain solidarity with their teacher and that their prayers were expressing the teacher’s basic teachings. The disciples had been learning from and experiencing so much with Jesus. To be able to pray as their Master prayed would give them assurance of expressing themselves correctly to God.

                                                       – Life Application Bible Commentary

What would YOU ask Jesus to teach you today?

How Can Jesus teach US to pray?

• We can’t sit at his feet and learn like the disciples could.
• We have two precious gifts the disciples didn’t have:
• The complete Scriptures
• Full of examples of prayers
• Full of teachings on prayer
• The Psalms are virtually a prayer journal
• The Holy Spirit
• John 14:15-17 Jesus sent him to teach us
• Rom. 8:26-27 He intercedes for us

A LOOK AT THE MODEL PRAYER

From as far back as I can remember I have been able to recite “The Lord’s Prayer.” We learned it and could repeat it, and we used it every Sunday as part of our worship experience in church. The pastor almost always introduced it with words like this: “Let us pray as our Lord taught us saying: Our Father…”

However, why did Jesus give this to His disciples in response to their query? It wasn’t the exact words, but rather the design of the prayer that He wanted them to learn and us to discover. I could probably spend several weeks on just picking apart and dissecting the lessons Jesus gave in this prayer, but let’s just give it a survey today and get a start looking at what the Lord wants us to know about the gift He has given us in prayer.

Prayer Begins with God

God provided prayer

I have a cell phone in my pocket. It is really only useful if other people have phones. Consider what it would be like if I were the only one on the planet who had a phone. It would be cool, but totally useless. God gave us prayer because in creating us He desired to have connection and communication with us. From way back in the book of Genesis we see the picture of God’s connection with His creation. He walked with and talked with them. People called upon the name of Yahweh. He spoke and listened and provided us with the opportunity to engage in the same.

God made prayer possible

We are “made in His image.” This reveals that as we are able to speak, listen, communicate, and share information, so is He. We get those attributes from the creator.

God made prayer profitable

Sin had broken the lines of connection with God like a downed limb severs phone lines. Through faith God has reconnected the lines and made prayer not only possible, but profitable. That means that we do not pray in vain, but rather our prayers can accomplish things. God listens and answers prayers.

Prayer Focuses on God (Luke 11:2-4)

Going back to my memorized prayer from the King James it says:

OUR FATHER who art in Heaven, hallowed be THY NAME THY KINGDOM come, THY WILL be done On earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day our daily bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil For THINE is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever.

Look at the number of times and ways that the prayer focuses on God.

• His Name
• His Kingdom
• His Will
• His provision
• His forgiveness
• His Leading
• His deliverance
• His power and glory (added from the parallel in Matt. 6:13)

So, to Summarize this Teaching on Prayer:

• Prayer is communication; requires talking and listening
• We can learn to pray
• +Study Scriptures – Read it
• +Prayer practice – Just Do it
• +Read the prayers of others
• +Write out your prayers

Prayer begins with God

• His idea
• He made it possible
• He made it profitable

Prayer focuses on God

A Closing thought:

Have you ever been going through the buffet line and come to the mashed potatoes and discovered that there are only enough left for two servings and there are four people behind you. What do you do? Most likely you pass them over so that those behind you can have some. After all, that’s the polite thing to do.

Someone mentioned on Sunday that she finds it hard sometimes to pray for her own needs. She, like many of us, lift up the needs of friends, family, and others. We pray for healing where healing is needed, strength for those who need strength. We bring all these needs before the Lord, but when we think about our own needs we stop short of praying for ourselves. Our thought is that we don’t want to burden the Lord, He has enough other things to take care of. It’s sort of like those depleted mashed potatoes. We see God’s resources as limited like that plate on the buffet table instead of by faith accepting that God’s resources are unlimited.