Your Relationship Can Go the Distance

Some of the Secrets We’ve Learned

One Sunday afternoon the pastor was reluctantly helping his wife wash and dry the dishes when he barked, “Washing dishes is a woman’s work, not a man’s.”

His wife lovingly replied, “Oh no, dear, in fact God specifically says differently.”

“What are you talking about?” the pastor demanded.

His wife set down her dish towel and picked up her Bible and opened and read, “and I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipes a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down.”

“Where does it say that?” he asked, now curious.

“In 2 Kings 21.13.” she replied and held the Bible so he could see. Then she smiled and continued, “In fact, it is obviously not a woman’s work to do the dishes according to God.” With that she took off her apron and left the room while he finished his responsibilities as the man.

Twenty Six Years of Chores by Choice

Things have changed. In the days of the Honeymooners, Ward and June Cleaver, even Darrin and Samantha Stephens, the sit-com wives managed the whole household and the husbands were “the kings of their castles.” He could come home and miraculously his wife had cared for the household chores, the needs of the children, and was able to put a full dinner on the table waiting for her husband, all while having her hair, makeup, and dress in perfect order.

Hard to believe, but today marks our 26th year together. We started dating on June 25, 1985 after we met at a youth event in Poultney, Vermont. There have been plenty of struggles and difficulties in our lives over the two and a half decades we’ve been together, but by God’s grace we have weather the storms.

One thing is for sure, as idyllic as those fifties families made life appear, it’s not a realistic expectation today. Andie and I both work in demanding positions and find our days filled with tasks and challenges. If we didn’t work together life would overwhelm us.

One of the things that I think has helped us through is that we work hard in the home and do what needs to be done. I’ve never been allergic to house-work…in fact there probably aren’t any husbands who are afflicted with that allergy regardless of what they claim. We are all capable of doing our part to help out. We are partners in the home.

Figuring out how this will best work takes some time and exploring. Over time we have learned what we are best suited for or prefer to do. For example, I prefer working in the kitchen. Andie prefers taking care of the laundry—it helps keep her clothes wearable. We work together to keep the house picked up. I usually do the vacuuming and she takes care of the bathrooms. I usually do the shopping and she puts things away. It works for us. If one of us is busy or laid up the other picks up the slack. We do our chores by choice.

  • · So, guys – grab a dish rag and dry those dishes.
  • · Get the broom and sweep up the floor.
  • · Don’t drop your clothes on the floor in the bedroom.
  • · If we can keep it clean to begin with it will be easier to take care of later.

This is one of the secrets to going the distance. Perhaps in the weeks to come I’ll share some others that we’ve discovered.


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